Let’s talk about when it all gets a little too much – what do you do?
Step 1: Do not beat yourself up.
Step 2: Forgive yourself when you beat yourself up anyway.
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, but often society tells us that we are failures for not being able to do everything. No one can do everything. Some people struggle to do the bare minimum and having a dog is a lot of work. Yes, it’s amazingly rewarding in a way that no job or personal relationship can be. But … It. Is. A. Lot. Of. Work.
Recently an acquaintance asked for advice on her Instagram story about what people do when they just do not have the energy to entertain their puppy. She sounded overwhelmed and at wits end. I knew exactly how she felt because while I love taking care of Pinot, some days it just feels hard.
It’s summer in Arizona and if I don’t walk Pinot before 8am, we’re not going to get a walk in for the day. As someone who was NOT a morning person before July 2020, waking up at 6:30AM (or earlier) every day for the last six weeks is starting to get to me.
Before summer happened, Pinot and I had a lovely schedule of waking around 8AM and going for our daily walk closer to 11AM. It was great!
But no no, not anymore. Now we wake at 7am at the latest and walk half the distance we previously did. The heat drains your energy faster. And not just when you’re physically outside, all day long you just feel heavier. It feels a bit like an Ithaca winter where you don’t see the sun for five months and start to go a bit insane. Just with a lot sweat instead of cold infiltrating your bones.
So how do I maintain the structure and routine that Pinot relies on. I don’t.
I made a new one, one that is more flexible. One that incorporates as much mental activity, or more, than physical activity for her. We play more fetch in the dog run when it’s shaded and go for shorter walks. We do most of our training indoors instead along our walks. Pinot forages for her breakfast and dinner in a snuffle mat or throughout rooms in our apartment. She holds place stays for a duration, learning patience and self-soothing.
Those last two points are crucial. It is just as hard for a dog to remain in one place and do nothing as it is for her run miles. Ten minutes of using her nose is equivalent to an hour walk. Working her brain and activating her scent work is exercise to her, it’s just not the traditional exercise that people think about. And it doesn’t require me to do anything besides the set up.
I can read a book, take a nap, watch TV, or get work done while she “exercises.” And it provides me both the space to do what I need to fill my own cup and the assurance that I am still creating enrichment for her.
I also rely on my support system when I can. My cousin has been staying with us for a bit and one night we were watching a show and I was exhausted, but Pinot needed to go out. My cousin offered and I declined, saying she was my responsibility. She nicely reminded me to take advantage of help when I have it and then took Pinot out without letting me object. I needed that reminder. I do not always have someone around to help with Pinot, but I learned to lean on my parents when they were here and I’m learning to better ask for help from others.
I might be doing this thing alone, but I am not completely alone, and I do not have to base my entire life around Pinot. I want to so I often make choices because of what’s best for her, but I can recognize that everyone needs help sometimes. Even if that’s just from a snuffle mat or place cot.